I am thankful for the life that you have given me. The life of the ups and down. The victories and failures. I am thankful for my family. My friends. I am thankful for the moments. The good, the bad, the ugly. I am thankful that you have forged me in the fires of life, and that you have made me stronger than I could have ever hoped I’d be. God I’m thankful that you made me someone that cares so deeply it hurts. Where TV shows can bring me to tears, and how I can connect with just about anyone. I am thankful for the lessons I’ve learned, and the knowledge I’ve gained. I’ve come so far, and done so much. I would have never thought I’d accomplish the things I have accomplished, meet the people I’ve met, or lived the life that I have lived.
God, I do trust you. I have seen you move and work in so many great and powerful ways in my life. You have grown me, strengthened me, taught me, and changed me. Now you’re taking me deeper. Deeper to a place of ultimate trust. Asking me to lay everything on the altar. My hopes. My dreams. My fears. My loves. You are asking me to trust you fully. Deeper. Greater. Than I ever have before, and that is an awesome place to be, but it’s also scary. You’re asking me to hold open my hands. You’re asking me to sit in the quiet. You’re asking me to endure. You’re asking me to let go. And I am. Slowly, but surely. I am. I am letting go. I am holding onto you instead. I am trusting you instead.
You’re asking me for my insecurities. You say that you got me, and that I’m secure in you, so I can let go of my insecurities. You’re asking me to give you my fears. I don’t have to hide under the blankets of life anymore. You call me yours. Your child. I am safe. I am loved. You are asking me to give you my loves. My family. My hopes and dreams. You are asking me to hold them out for you to see. You are asking to see my heart. My thoughts. You are asking me to let you in fully. To the deepest and darkest recesses of my heart and mind.
You are asking me to sit with you in the quiet places. In the loneliness. In the darkness. That your light illuminates it all. That I’m never alone. That I’m never forgotten. That I’m known. Even in the pits. Even in the shadows. Even in the places where no one else usually goes. You are there.
So I’m letting you in. I’m letting you into the places that you already know. I’m letting you in fully now though. I’m letting you see it all. Me. Even though you already know it all, I’m letting go all the same. I’m trusting all the same. I’m risking all the same. I’m following all the same. I’m loving all the same.
Jesus, will you be with me at night in the fears? Will you comfort me in the loneliness? Will you bind up my wounds? Will you show me the way? Will you help me fight for what I know is right? Will you strengthen me in my weakness? Will you cry with me in my pain? Will you love me when I feel unlovable? Will you bring me joy? Will you take me into your presence so I can experience peace?
Will you love those I love more than I could ever love them? Will you hold them secure as you hold me? Will you help me deal with the obstacles and hurdles in life? Will you prepare me for what’s ahead? Will you speak your truth over me? Will you defeat my enemies? Will you use me?
Will you pick me up after I have fallen for the 1,000th time? Will you save those who don’t know you? Will you be near to those who are hopeless and hurting? Will you? Will you?
I trust that you will. I trust that you will because you say you will. You speak these truths over us. You know us. You love us. You will hold me til the end. You will be with those I love.
Even in the times when it will be hard to see what you’re doing, I will trust. I will lean on you. I will remember your Word. I will be patient. I will pray. I will follow. It will be hard, but you are always working for our good, both in the difficult and easy. In the hard times and the good times. On the mountain tops and in the valleys. God I will trust you.