How many of you have dreams? How many of you have fears? We all have them. We want to accomplish those dreams but fears sometimes hold us back. Fears of not meeting expectations, or failing people, or messing up again and again.
I know the closer I’ve gotten to leaving for North Greenville, all the past thoughts and fears from past years and past mistakes seem to haunt me. I don’t want to mess up North Greenville like I messed up Charleston Southern. I don’t want to be a fraud but a teacher and an encouragement to others. I don’t want to fail to meet expectations and flunk out of another school.
I mean why should I be worried. God has prepared me for this upcoming year over the past year and a half. I have been disciplined in every area of my life. Why am I falling apart right before I leave for such an amazing place of community and fellowship and learning? Its because I am trying to hold all of these things in my hands, my tiny hands.
When I heard the song “Sovereign” by Christ Tomlin yesterday in church, it reminded me that North Greenville and my future, its all in God’s hands. Its not in my hands. Yes I have a part in this promise and future but God ultimately has the last say. All my worries and dreams and past mistakes, God holds them all in His hands. In His hands all my worries and fears and mistakes look small, in His Powerful Hands.
So today I choose to remember Whose hands I’m in, Jesus Christ’s. I can’t be taken from His hands, His grip is tight. One month left and I’m ready to start preparing, with worry and fears cast to the side.