Confession and Repentance

It is so hard for me to reach out to others when I am face down in the mud in sin. The sin is all I can see. I am ashamed of what I am doing, depressed because I know I am trading in God’s love and promise for a lie. I have learned the best thing to do when you are in sin is to confess it. It is also the hardest thing.

The last four days I have been face down in the mud of my past. It has caked my body and my soul. My eyes grew dim as I felt the darkness pulling my soul back in. The water seemed to be rising, closer and closer to my neck. The hardest thing about this was probably that for the last month, this addiction, this temptation seemed to subside so much. It subsided so much that I let my guard down, when sin was just outside the door, crouching.

Sin lulled me to sleep, compromising and comprimising til I was in the thick of the darkness, wondering how I got there. I felt like a complete fool saying just a week ago that the battles were over and that I was hanging up my armor. Last night though, I knew it was time. It was getting out of control and something needed to be done. The water was rising and rising, steadily. I needed to confess my darkness.

James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. (NIV)

Why do we confess our sins? Is it so that we will feel shame and condemnation? Is it to let others judge us? I believe its about being vulnerable with brothers and sisters in Christ. Letting them love us and pray for us in the power of Jesus Christ. We can’t see in the situation because the darkness has blinded our eyes. By letting another person in, we allow light to be shown on the situation, the light of Jesus Christ.

John 1:5

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. (NIV)
So I did it. I confessed my sins to my parents. “Mom and Dad I messed up.” They came and stood alongside me. Broken, beat down, I reached out and confessed. Through that confession, the darkness lost its power and its strength. The light of Jesus Christ shown into the situation and gave me insight. Insight that I couldn’t see in the darkness.
So as I confessed to my parents, I confess to this community of believers who follow my blog. I apologize for my stumbling but with the help and love of Jesus Christ, I woke up this morning, not feeling the heavy hand of darkness and sin on my life. I am walking more in repentance today and the grace and forgiveness of My Father God.


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