All my life, love has been a mystery. A mystery that was maddening even angering. I had been rejected by tons of girls and in seventh grade I was sexually assaulted in the church by a couple older guy students. Love in my mind had been twisted, perverted, and ripped apart from a very young age and as I got older it got even worse. Every time I reached out and loved I was rejected and cast aside. So eventually I quit reaching out and started hating love and people that were in love. Valentines Day was a constant reminder of the fact that I had no true friends or people that loved me and that I was going to be alone the rest of my life. Even people that tried to reach out to me I pushed them away because of all the times I’d been betrayed and hurt. Last year though someone reached out to me. His name is Jesus Christ.
All my life Jesus had been pursuing me, patiently waiting for an opportunity to speak love and truth into my life. The more He pursued the more I ran because I didn’t trust Him. After all the times I had been hurt I trusted no one, not even the God of the Universe. Why would He want anything to do with me I though? I’m tired of following His rules I thought. So I ran far, far away. He kept pursuing though with patience not throwing Himself on me but constantly showing me His love through people. Last year as I sat defeated and hopeless in the mud, He came and sat with me. He didn’t condemn me but from the raspy words of an atheist manager, Jesus Christ held His hand out to me. After running for years He had finally caught up to me.
Over that last year I had attended a year long Bible Study unwillingly by the direction of my parents. I came in every Tuesday night and went and sat at a table by my myself. I didn’t want anything to do with these people or their Jesus. But every Tuesday they approached the table and looked into my glazed over eyes and shared with me the love of Jesus Christ. I continued pushing them away but they never stopped loving me with the love of Jesus Christ. The more I pushed them away the more love came. My guards began to come down and for the first time in a long time I began to trust. I kept waiting for the rejection and condemnation but it never came.
So when Jesus Christ reached His hand down into my life, I reached up and took hold of His hand. I trusted that He loved me and wouldn’t fail me. Every sense in my body screamed not to trust Him, to not trust anyone but I disregarded those. That day January 6th, 2012, Jesus Christ pulled me up from the mud. He opened my eyes to His Word and brought light to them. He showed me that He had been there sitting with me through everything. Through the sexual assault, through the dying of relatives, through the days I sat in my room, He had always been there. Christ had already showed me the greatest love and sacrifice of all by coming to this earth and dying on the cross for my sins so that I’d be able to have a personal relationship with Him. He died for me even though I pushed Him away and ran from Him. He died for me even though I sinned against Him and cursed His name. He sat by my side for many years, even though I didn’t know it. He sat in my room, in my schools, in my life and He waited.
“Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not conceited.”
(1 Corinthians 13:4).
God’s love toward me was patient, it was kind. He pursued me to the ends of the earth. He ran to the edge of the cliff and called out to me as I was about to jump, seeing no hope and no purpose. He showed me His love that day and has continued to show me what true love is. God’s love towards me will never end, it will last forever. He will never leave or forsake me. Like all those people that have betrayed my trust and all those people that have twisted my view of love, God will never leave me or betray me.
“Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for languages, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end.”(1 Corinthians 13:8). Christ’s love is over all things. “It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Corinthians 13:7).
So Valentines Day 2013 even though I am still single, I am no longer depressed and alone. I am loved and beloved by the God of the Universe, the God who created this world. He has fulfilled me and loved me in every way I have ever wanted. So don’t fret this Valentines Day if you feel alone because you are not. There is a Heavenly Father who is in your room, seeing everything that goes on. He wants to reveal His love to you completely and He will! He will give you love for others and you will stop hating love and people that are in love because you will know the origin of everlasting love, Jesus Christ. I can’t wait to one day share a loving, grace filled marriage with my future wife. Wherever she is God is preparing her and He is preparing me.
Happy Valentines Day Ya’ll.
Live in God’s Love Daily, Expect it and Don’t Ever Forget it.