A Math Test and a Busted Hand

Sometimes I forget. I forget who is really in control and who has His hand in every situation in my life. One of those examples was yesterday after I blanked on my math test. Anger that I haven’t had in a long time, just came out in a fury. I got into my car after seemingly blowing my math test and took my right fist and punched into the inside roof of my car. How could God have let me come all this way to fail in the end? I thought to myself. Angrier and angrier I got. I studied for days for this test, and I knew it just an hour before. I had never blanked on anything in my life. I thought to myself, God knew how crucial this test was. I drove to the downtown library and parked. Once again I smashed my fist into the roof, thinking that getting angry would fix all that had happened. But it didn’t. It just left me with a bloody scar the next morning.

As I woke up though, I was determined that this day was a new day and that I couldn’t change what happened yesterday, that I could only focus on today. And then as I was reading God’s word in Psalms, a verse just slapped me right in the face.

Psalm 37: 23-24 says, “A man’s steps are established by the Lord, and He takes pleasure in his way. Thought he fails, he will not be overwhelmed, because the Lord holds his hand.”

My math test in the big scheme of things didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was that God was still in control and He was making me well aware of that. That God could get me into a school without amazing grades, because of his almighty power and grace. That I should still work hard, but that He had the last say in what was final or set in stone.

So as I came to school today I was reminded of God’s sovereignty. And as I went to check my math grade, low and behold, I got an 85. I’m not sure how I got that grade but I know one thing for sure, that God was in control. And as I look at my scarred hand today I think how foolish I really was. That one grade should not have sent me off the cliff, because I knew God had His hand on me and that no matter where I went or what I did, He would be there, with His right hand holding on to me.

And now for awhile I will have this reminder of my anger and questioning God and Him not flinching because He knew what He was doing. He has established my steps and He is taking me down the road He wants me to go, and its been a long, hard, road with lots of questions and fewer answers but He’s taking me there, wherever it is, He is taking me there.

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2 thoughts on “A Math Test and a Busted Hand

  1. Brother. I am with you. Your writing has steadily improved, but greater than that, your relationship with the Lord has grown still further. You remind me of, well, me. You're walking in faith. Stumbling along blindly, like me and all those I love and trust most. But, we're walking together. Because, really, He is getting us there. Well done, Joseph.

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  2. Thanks man. Your encouragement has meant so much to me not only as a brother in Christ, but also as a peer and someone I look up to greatly. Its amazing that this Thursday will be 11 months that I've been walking with the Lord, holding on to Him with everything I've had. I'm so blessed that you're my brother and my mentor and I appreciate all the great encouragement you bring me. By the way, long boarding soon, like right after I take finals soon haha!

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